Added: Michaella Harty - Date: 11.08.2021 11:30 - Views: 48168 - Clicks: 4974
Making friends as an introvert can be complicated. On the one hand, we sincerely do want to connect with people. On the other hand, we get really frustrated with all the obstacles standing in the way of true friendship. But as adults, it can be hard to make these kinds of friendships. I hear from a lot of introverts who tend to attract loud, overbearing personalities. I know exactly how they feel. These friends left me feeling drained and annoyed. Not only that. It was really hard on my self-esteem. Being with big personalities made me feel small.
I felt overshadowed and unheard. And yet, I honestly believed that was the best I could do. I thought I was too strange and quiet to make the deep and meaningful friendships I truly longed for. As I learned to embrace my introversion and build confidence in my own quiet wayI realized my big mistake. My biggest mistake when it came to making friends was taking on the martyr role. For some reason, I believed that being able to endure abrasive personalities made me a better person. I believed that walking away from unfulfilling friendships made me a jerk. Nowadays, things are much different thanks to a few key steps I took to turn things around.
You wander off, need lots of space, and sometimes forget to call. When I did some digging, I realized that I used to believe all of the above.
But then I started to shift my mindset by asking myself one question:. They believe they have nothing of value to offer as a friend, but this is absolutely untrue. Take a moment to ask yourself the same question, and then answer it from the perspective of someone who loves or has loved you. What would your best friend say that you bring to the friendship? More importantly …. What do you value in a friend? You appreciate that they understand and accept you.
You can trust them to listen to your problems without judgement. As an introvert, you likely embody all of these qualities and more. Did you know that big bright personalities can leave introverts in the shadows…for our whole lives? But constantly spending time with people who drain and irritate you will only make it harder for you Introvert seeking friends find friends you actually like.
You deserve to shine, too. Introverts and extroverts can make wonderful friends if both people feel like their needs are being met. One of the advantages of having the right kind of extroverted friends is that they can connect you with others. A social connector puts you in touch with people who share your interests.
If you are a foodie, they will mention so-and-so who is always game to try a new restaurant. The key is to find a social connector who has similar values and interests to you so they can connect you with the right people. For more tips on how to make meaningful friendships. Can you relate to what I shared today? What do you find challenging about making friends, and what has helped you to connect? Please do share your thoughts in the comments below. Michaela, you just keep getting deeper! I ended up with only two friends — one local and one on the West Coast.
That change has done quite a bit to raise my self-confidence because both of those friends have turned out to also be pseudo-mentors to me. Now I am dating a wonderful introvert lady who is totally different from the women I have tried to date in the past. It is unfortunate that I took so long to acknowledge my behavior. In hindsight, I could have maintained the old pattern forever since Introvert seeking friends gave me more people to choose from.
Of course, it was draining but less lonely. Now Introvert seeking friends enjoy having fewer but high quality relationships. Thanks so much for sharing your experience with this, Tony! Indeed, it also applies to romantic relationships, and the sooner you break the pattern the better. I am delighted to connect with this personality profile. I am an INFJ. I tried to register for the free connection guide but I had difficulty being successful as I jest kept adding my name and address over and over. What do you suggest that I do.
I am basic on computers. I await your reply. Many thanks. I really enjoy your articles and take inspiration from you. Your s help me feel less alone in this regard. Please do you have any tips or may I send you my address? How I can recognize it!Two Easy Ways To Make Friends As An Introvert
It often makes me feel depressed and lonely because I dont feel there is a deeper connection or that it matters WHO actually listen to them. It just happens to be me occationally. I am just an listener, an observer, smiling politely. The few introvert friends I have we seldom meet. Something got to change!Two Easy Ways To Make Friends As An Introvert
Thank you so much for your blog. Wow Michaela, thank you for yet another great post. You know, I have never understood why I choose such extroverted and often selfish friends, but now I have much more insight into why. I have low self-esteem for many reasons, but one is that I feel like extroverts are Introvert seeking friends better than me and that I should push myself to be more like them. Wondering if you have any thoughts on that? Thanks much for sharing your insights with those of us trying to understand how we fit in the world!! One thing I struggle with is I feel I am always the one who does the calling and inviting.
How do you overcome this??? Michaela, this article is so good. Many thanks and love. It may take more time and effort when both of you are introverts, but will be more rewarding than the superficial, energy-draining relationships with narcissistic extroverts.
Lynne, I have thought so much over the years about your first line. The friends that I have kept in touch with over 40 years were the quiet ones.Introvert seeking friends
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