Added: Alston Sheahan - Date: 14.01.2022 09:49 - Views: 15444 - Clicks: 2050
When I turned 40, I felt an intense need to evaluate everything and everyone in my life in order to determine what was and what was not working for me.
Was I really and truly happy? The answer was a resounding NO for a of reasons, but needless to say; that was the year that I got divorced. I also let go of some toxic relationships that had been masquerading as friendships for years.
Ironically, I have a friend who just turned 30 and another who is turning They are both feeling very introspective about the state that they are in at this time in their lives. What this tells me is that no matter how old you are, there comes a time in your life maybe several where you evaluate everything: Your ificant other, your job, your passions and, inevitably, your friendships. It was an interesting process for me because I had a hard time letting go of people who had been around for a long time.
And then once I determined that some people were just not good for me to maintain relationships with, I started cutting everybody off the minute I detected behavior that I felt was not representative of a real friend. After I went through my phase of cutting everybody off, I learned that true friends can and will hurt your feelings, piss you off or mess up sometimes. They want to help you be the best version of yourself and you should always come away from an interaction feeling loved, understood and supported. They need to actively listen, put themselves in your shoes and take themselves out of the equation.
Good friends also know when you just need to get something off your chest and when you want advice or solutions. I was recently upset about a situation and I was talking to my friend on the phone. I knew he would do it without a 2 nd thought and that knowledge instantly made me feel better.
We are all guilty of negative self-talk. When you do it, if there is someone around who loves you, they will probably counter that negative talk.
I had a friend who invited me to a party once. She invited about 10 other women as well. She went around the room and introduced everyone. She loves House music. Yet, I knew where she worked, I knew some of her co-workers, I knew many of her other friends, I knew about her love life, I knew her favorite things to do and the list goes on.Jordan Peterson: how to spot good friends
She knew none of these things about me. Not every friend is going to be your BFF. Ever been pouring your heart out to your friend, only to see that distracted look in their eyes? They may only perk up when they find a way to insert themselves into the Just a genuine friend. I remember griping about a situation with a project that both my friend and I were involved in and she asked me if I wanted her to help.
I told her NO, that it was no big deal. She knew that it bothered me more than I let on and she made a phone call that actually rectified the situation. Without me asking. You can talk about your day, that lady that cut you off on the highway, how crazy your kids are acting and a good friend will actually listen to you and remember what you said.
Something bad went down. Is she empathizing or is she making the situation worse? There are time that you need to be inspired and motivated to act and other times, you need to be talked off the ledge. If you feel worse after having confided in a friend, that could be a problem. You want to gain insight, release some tension and share your experience with your friend. Notify me of follow-up comments by. Notify me of new posts by. Leave this field empty.
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