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An investigation into the darkest corners of the web to find the holy grail of female pleasure. Men have a lot of questions about their girlfriends. He explains :. Been seeing a girl for a month or so and the other day we got into a conversation about sex. She was telling me about how she masturbates pretty often but that she also eats herself out sometimes.

Have any of you ever experienced this?

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If only! In our exploration, we found, at least anecdotally, that most dudes at some point or another see if they can suck their own dick. Most of them also fail spectacularly. Some men have pulled it off, and Alfred Kinsey noted way back in that their own research found that lots of men at least give it a shot as horny teens.

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Autofellatio shows up around the world throughout time, at least for men: Ancient Egypt, Germany and Victorian England. And on occasion, men find dick-sucking success. Adult performer Ron Jeremy did, among others. And there are jokes a-plenty about men trying, which usually involves yoga, perseverance and extreme optimism. Or removing ribs! But women? From a Slate piece on autocunninlingus, Jesse Bering wrote :. Given the even more serious anatomical hurdles in lacking a protruding reproductive device, such behavior in women may not even be possible.

The closest female comparison to autofellatio I stumbled upon is the case of women who suckle from their own breasts, for sexual or other purposes. One therapist writes of an especially self-sufficient female patient who had a habit of doing this. As he notes, the clitoris extends a mere half-inch outside the bodyso reaching it is far more difficult than sticking your tongue out far enough to touch the tip.

Of course, a girl can still dream. A few years ago, someone asked on Reddit how many women could perform autocunnilingus. A woman asks:. Obviously, a high level of flexibility would be required but I get the feeling that there are more women out there that are capable of it, than most people expect. When I was younger, I was insanely flexible.

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I used to be able to kiss my own arse in various positions. It was a source of endless laughs with my sisters. Then I gained a lot of weight and lost a lot of my flexibility. I remained overweight for a long time and only lost weight five years ago.

No one cops to being able to achieve it. But a vagina kiss is not cunnilingus — any more than this ass kisser above is actually performing anilingus. But even the allegedly existing video evidence of autocunnilingus is highly, highly dubious.

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This GIF of a woman apparently performing it shows that, at best, she appears to be able to briefly make mouth contact with her vaginal area for about a millisecond before pulling away. Why, you might ask, is the Flexible Bitch a bitch? Back at the original Reddit threat with a man claiming his girlfriend can do it, the original poster was prompted to explain how, exactly, she pulls it off. You have a few options. You could applaud. You could make it into a fun sex thing. You could back away slowly and give the girl some privacy. You could take video for posterity. Besides, do you really want us to be able to eat ourselves out?

If we could, a lot of dudes would be out of a job. Tracy Moore is a staff writer at MEL. Formerly at Jezebel. What would you do if your girlfriend cheated on you? What would you do if your girlfriend died? He explains : Been seeing a girl for a month or so and the other day we got into a conversation about sex.

From a Slate piece on autocunninlingus, Jesse Bering wrote : Given the even more serious anatomical hurdles in lacking a protruding reproductive device, such behavior in women may not even be possible.

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A woman asks: Obviously, a high level of flexibility would be required but I get the feeling that there are more women out there that are capable of it, than most people expect. So, any self-munchers here? Anyone ever tried but failed? The original poster comes back with this YouTube video of a man kissing his own butt: But a vagina kiss is not cunnilingus — any more than this ass kisser above is actually performing anilingus. There are lo of porn videos claiming such feats, all equally bullshitty, too.

At best, bumping your face to crotch is a fun party trick. More Stories from MEL.

Need a woman to lick my

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How to eat a girl out, by disappointed straight girls