No dick is too Durham

Added: Keil Melchior - Date: 03.12.2021 06:06 - Views: 29452 - Clicks: 1727

Annie Savoy : [narrating] I believe in the Church of Baseball. I've tried all the major religions, and most of the minor ones. I know things. For instance, there are be in a Catholic rosary and there are stitches in a baseball. When I learned that, I gave Jesus a chance. But it just didn't work out between us. The Lord laid too much guilt on me. I prefer metaphysics to theology. You see, there's no guilt in baseball, and it's never boring.

Annie Savoy : which makes it like sex. There's never been a ballplayer slept with me who didn't have the best year of his career. Making love is like hitting a baseball: you just gotta relax and concentrate. Besides, I'd never sleep with a player hitting under. You see, there's a certain amount of life wisdom I give these boys. I can expand their minds. Sometimes when I got a ballplayer alone, I'll just read Emily Dickinson or Walt Whitman to him, and the guys are so sweet, they always stay and listen.

I make them feel confident, and they make me feel safe, and pretty. Sometimes it seems like a bad trade. But bad trades are part of baseball - now who can forget Frank Robinson for Milt Pappas, for God's sake? It's a long season and you gotta trust it. I've tried 'em all, I really have, and the only church that truly feeds the soul, day in, day out, is the Church of Baseball. Annie Savoy : The world is made for people who aren't cursed with self awareness.

Annie Savoy : These are the ground No dick is too Durham. I hook up with one guy a season. Usually takes me a couple weeks to pick the guy - kinda my own spring training. And, well, you two are the most promising prospects of the season so far, so I just thought we should kinda get to know each other. Crash Davis : Time out. Why do you get to choose? Annie Savoy : What? Crash Davis : Why do you get to choose?

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I mean, why don't I get to choose, why doesn't he get to choose? Annie Savoy : Well, actually, nobody on this planet ever really chooses each other. I mean, it's all a question of quantum physics, molecular attraction, and timing.

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Why, there are laws we don't understand that bring us together and tear us apart. Uh, it's like pheromones. You get three ants together, they can't do dick. You get million of them, they can build a cathedral.

Ebby Calvin LaLoosh : So is somebody going to go to bed with somebody or what? Annie Savoy : Honey, you are a regular nuclear meltdown. You better cool off. Ha ha, ha ha! Annie Savoy : Oh, where are you going? Crash Davis : After 12 years in the minor leagues, I don't try out. Besides, uh, I don't believe in quantum physics when it comes to matters of the heart. Annie Savoy : What do you believe in, then?

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Crash Davis : Well, I believe in the soul, the cock, the pussy, the small of a woman's back, the hanging curve ball, high fiber, good scotch, that the novels of Susan Sontag are self-indulgent, overrated crap. I believe Lee Harvey Oswald acted alone. I believe there ought to be a constitutional amendment outlawing Astroturf and the deated hitter. I believe in the sweet spot, soft-core pornography, opening your presents Christmas morning rather than Christmas Eve and I believe in long, slow, deep, soft, wet kisses that last three days.

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Crash Davis : Goodnight. Annie Savoy : Oh my.

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Annie Savoy : Right, honey, let's get down to it. How was Ebby Calvin LaLoosh? Millie : Well, he fucks like he pitches - sorta all over the place. Millie : [Annie is fitting Millie in her wedding dress] Annie Annie Savoy : Honey, we all deserve to wear white. Annie Savoy : Listen, sweetheart, you shouldn't listen to what a woman says when she's in the throes of passion. They say the darndest things.

Annie Savoy : Honey, would you rather I were making love to him using your name, or making love to you using his name? Annie Savoy : [narrating] Walt Whitman once said, "I see great things in baseball. It's our game, the American game. It will repair our losses and be a blessing to us. Ebby Calvin LaLoosh : You're playing with my mind.

Ebby Calvin LaLoosh : I knew it, you're trying to seduce me! Annie Savoy : Well of course I'm trying to seduce you, for God's sake, and I'm doing a damn poor job of it Aren't I pretty?

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Annie Savoy : Cute? I want to be exotic, and mysterious!

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Ebby Calvin LaLoosh : You are, you're exotic, and mysterious, and That's why I'd better leave. Annie Savoy : Yeah? Have you heard of Walt Whitman? Ebby Calvin LaLoosh : No. Who's he play for? Crash Davis : I never told him to stay out of your bed. Annie Savoy : You most certainly did. Annie Savoy : Yes you did. Crash Davis : I told him that a player on a streak has to respect the streak. Annie Savoy : Oh fine. Crash Davis : You know why? Because they don't - -they don't happen very often. Annie Savoy : Right. And you should know that! Crash Davis : Come on, Annie, think of something clever to say, huh?

Something full of magic, religion, bullshit. Come on, dazzle me. Annie Savoy : I want you. Annie Savoy : Yes, I do. He said that a man could get lost in there and never be heard from again. Crash Davis : Last chance.

No dick is too Durham

email: [email protected] - phone:(824) 797-1624 x 8121

No dick is too Durham